Eat it Brits. And while I’m at it, screw you Oasis. You guys think you’re badass because you have two brothers that fight all the time and occasionally punch each other on stage? Big freakin’ deal. Frankly both of the Gallagher brothers deserve to be beaten far more often… by men with sticks… sticks shaped like bats… stick shaped like bats that are actually axes… axes that cut like chainsaws. In short I think the Liam and Noel should be hacked to bits by Leatherface. But barring an actual dismemberment at the hands of a lunatic wearing a flesh mask, you ain’t got nothin’ on the Kings of Leon. First up, Oasis only has two brothers. Kings of Leon has three. And a cousin! That’s right, the whole band is related and apparently hates each other. More so, they don’t get in their little punch-ups on stage in front of the crowd so everyone thinks they’re all edgy and dangerous. That’s because when they sock each other they mean it. It’s not just some lame attempt to get some headlines and mommy and daddy’s love. They save their brawling for backstage, 30 seconds after getting an award and in front of Bono and David Hasselhoff. Yes, apparently there was a tussle immediately following Kings of Loen accepting their Brit award Wednesday night. Immediately following their winning Best International Group (which is also crap you Limey twits, they’re American not international. You are the ones who are international. You swap that award with whatever brickbiting hacks you gave Best Rock Act to and then you slap that band for Messin’ With Texas.) But right after their poorly allotted award, the guys walked backstage and started punching the crap out of each other with U2 and Hasselhoff throwing 20s down on the outcome. Security grabbed them and shoved them in their dressing room where they no doubt used their new award to bludgeon each other in peace.

A couple of things could have been the cause. In the past they’ve fought over lead singer Caleb’s drinking, but at the Brits bassist Jared’s girlfriend apparently got pissed when she say Jared talking to the members of a female band going to far as to throw a glass of water at her. Later that evening, had a throw down in front of the guests at the backstage bar.

Nine Inch Nails fans probably know the named Josh Freese. He is probably the band’s best known past drummer. He left NIN last year to do his own thing and that thing is apparently done. But Josh is a bit of an innovator, just like his former lead singer and he has taken the Reznor/York model of pay what you want to the next level. Depending on what you want in return for Josh’s new album called Since 1972, you could either pay 7 dollars for the music or you could pay 75 thousand dollars and get a little more. There are a variety of price levels in between.

$15 gets you CD/DVD and a Digital Download. $50 gets all that, a T-shirt and a thank you call from Josh. $250  and you can go on a lunch date with Josh to PF Changs or The Cheesecake Factory. $500 and you can meet Josh in Venice, CA and go floating together in a Sensory deprivation tank and then have dinner at Sizzler. For $1,000 Josh washes your car OR does your laundry….or you can wash his car. Plus, you can get drunk and cut each other’s hair in the parking lot of the Long Beach courthouse. For $5,000 Josh will write a song about you and make available on iTunes, give you and a friend a private tour of Disneyland and Stone from Pearl Jam will send you a letter telling you about his favorite song on “Since 1972.” For $10,000 Twiggy Ramirez and Josh take you and a guest to Roscoe’s Chicken n’ Waffle then to “Club 33″ (the super-duper exclusive and private restaurant at Disneyland located above the Pirates Of The Caribbean) and at the end of the day you drive away in Josh’s Volvo station wagon. It’s all yours….take it. Just drop him off on your way home though please. And finally for $75,000  you can go on tour with Josh for a few days, have Josh write, record and release a 5 song EP about you and your life story, take home any of his drumsets, take shrooms and cruise Hollywood in Danny from TOOL’s Lamborgini, Josh will join your band for a month…play shows, record, party with groupies, etc…., take a flying trapeze lesson with Josh and Robin from NIN, go back to Robin’s place afterwards and his wife will make you raw lasagna.

This entry was posted on Friday, February 20th, 2009 at 9:42 pm and is filed under Cort's Backstage Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.