September 29, 2009
Illegal Downloading Is Not Rape
Rockstars, believe me. I feel you when it comes to this whole illegal downloading. You have no idea how upset I would be if I found out that just anyone was able to go to cortandfatboy.com and download our show along with exclusive content on a daily basis without paying a cent. Wait, they already can?! Nooooooo!!!! Cortandfatboy.com. So I understood a few years ago when downloading really started to cut in on the profit margin why you could feel a little irritated or betrayed. But your window for feeling violated closed in about 2003. It should have been assumed that any record released after that point would see it’s widest distribution through file sharing sites. Every big album released in the last five years has been leaked to the internet and every time someone in the band gets asked about it and they say something about how they feel gutted and betrayed. The only reason you feel that way is that you were too naive or uninformed to know that whoever is in the back room making dupes of your CD for distribution pocketed one and made it available to the rest of the planet minus the superfluous packaging and 18 dollar price tag. How you can have an anticipated record and compare it to rape when the thing is leaked to the internet in this day and age I have no idea, but that’s exactly what Sean Kinney of Alice in Chains did. He says it’s like “going to prison- you know you’re gonna get raped, but you’re not ready for it. You think you’re all prepared for it, but you’re not really prepared for how violent that rape is.” To be fair, the last AIC record came out in1997, long before file sharing became as ubiquitous as it is now and Sean did at least say he tried to prepare for it. But if your manager didn’t sit you guys down and say, “Listen, everyone is going to have a copy of this record long before the CDs reach the store. Hell, they’ll have it before you’re done recording it,” then you need to fire your manager. Someone should have set you down in front of a mix tape of scenes from Shawshank Redemption, Deliverance and Pulp Fiction and said, “This is what the fans are going to do to you.” And then they should have dropped a jackhammer with a Hulk fist attachment on the table and said, “And this is what they’ll be using.” If you didn’t get that speech then the people you employ are not doing their jobs. You can catch Alice in Chains performing songs off their album during their two night stand on Jimmy Kimmel Live starting tonight.
Radio Hot Chili Peppers Head?
From the “Bwuuuaaah??!!” Department comes a story about Thom York’s new band. The first “Bwwuuuaaahh?!” comes from the phrase “Thom York’s new band.” Not really sure what was wrong with his old band, except for all that making influential music and those instant-classic status records, not to mention the millions of rabid fans. ‘Cuz, you know that’s gotta suck. The other level of “Bwwwuuuaaahh?!” comes from who he has IN the band. Apparently filling in on bass duties is none other than Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Now, Flea’s a great bassist and all, but he a little more, oh let’s say overt. On the one hand you have shy, mopey, rag doll Thom York singing his sad, quiet, introspective songs set to electric Casio farts. And on the other you have a guy known for jumping around the stage with a sock on his ding and a giant light bulb on his head playing spastic slap-bass. This band will play at least one gig in support of York’s 2006 album The Eraser. That gig will be in LA on the 9th of October.